Monday, October 23, 2006

The window 

"The window" is an expression I have for the period when I can drive on to campus without worrying about the herds of students crossing streets. The windows are quite small -- no more than ten minutes per hour, beginning five minutes after classes begin. I am sitting at a local coffee shop whiling my time right now waiting for the next window to open.

Why worry, you ask? Students are studious lately about only one thing -- do not make eye contact with a driver. This reminds me of the deer that cross roads this time of the year in Minnesota. The last look on a deer's face before it's hit by a car has that what is this thing coming towards me look that students share. Some of them, no doubt out of some environmental sensitivity course, tend to give me a dirty look for not riding a bicycle wearing hemp winter gear. I usually allow them some opportunity to get across the street, but the other day one stands in the street fishing his cellphone out of his waytootightpants, and I thought about tossing the car in neutral and hitting the accelerator just a little bit.

Mike Adams tells me what would happen in this situation.

The first story is of Ashley (not real name) � a girl I met the other day in the parking lot by the Cameron School of Business. When I first saw her, she was making out with her boyfriend in his Chevy Blazer right in front of the entrance to the parking lot. I waited until the line of cars behind me was eight deep before I even thought about tapping the horn lightly to let the young couple know they were holding up cars waiting to get in the rapidly filling lot.

Just before I hit the horn, she got out of the Blazer and started to walk away. After three steps, though, she decided to return to the Blazer for one last kiss. That�s when I tapped the horn as lightly as possible to let her know there were other people in the world besides her and her boyfriend.

But, apparently, Ashley didn�t like that little tap on the horn. After she slammed the door of the Blazer she shot me the middle finger and shouted �f�k you!� at the top of her lungs. But she wasn�t through. After taking a few steps, she stopped, turned around, and flipped me the bird again shouting �f�k you!� as loud as she could.

So, naturally, I did what any white heterosexual Christian male would do under the circumstances. I kept a close eye on her, parked as fast as possible, and chased her down before she got inside the Cameron School of Business. When I caught up to her, I thanked her for her contribution to diversity at UNCW. The cultural norms regarding consideration of others and use of profanity and crude hand gestures in public are all antiquated norms developed by an oppressive white Christian patriarchy. By rebelling against them, she was showing us that each individual must carve out her own way of doing things, regardless of the tradition of the dominant culture.

Other stories are in his article -- if you read this blog and are not a regular Mike Adams reader, you're missing the point. I notice he plans to speak at U. Minnesota -- Morris soon. Professor, the door remains wide open to you for a visit to our fair campus.

I'd write more, but the window just opened; if I don't leave now, I might hit Ashley.