Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Who was responsible for keeping secrets in the popcorn trade; how did the secret get out, and what are the repercussions now that the popcorn has been outed? (Robert Novak did not return phone calls by press time.) If this goes all the way to the top, and the rumors about the super-secret nature of the popcorn industry are true -- you know, midnight induction ceremonies where the novitiates wear aluminum Jiffy Pop hats, smear themselves with coconut oil and bow to the mummified body of Orville Redenbacher -- then we can expect purges, assassinations and power struggles that will roil the popcorn world. Or rather, shake it from side to side in a continual motion.I recall a year when Mrs and I visited at Pitzer College in Claremont, we lived in a studio in the back of a woman's house in the downtown area. We were at that time fully into the vegan lifestyle, which is damned difficult when you have a studio refrigerator and no more than a hotplate for your cooking. Doing dishes with a sink the size of your glove compartment further dampens the experience. During this year all our popcorn was JiffyPop -- natural flavor of course, because we're vegans dammit! -- cooked on the hotplate. We are very lucky not to have burned down the studio. But I'm more disturbed by two things. First, this ad.
Jiffy Pop is the family fun treat! No other brand of popcorn offers Jiffy Pop's self-contained popping pan. It can even be used outdoors. And it offers a fresh, homemade taste that no microwave popcorn can match. Jiffy Pop is as much fun to make as it is to eat!When you have to move the thing "side to side in a continual motion" on a low enough heat to not burn down your studio, you realize while standing there that this is wrong. If you move side to side you must stop to go from one side to another. This motion is not good longterm on your arm, I can attest. I can't snap off the curveball quite like I used to.
And as anyone who's camped will tell you, cooking it outside usually comes to ruin. And the realization that the little metal handle gets really hot when the pan is on fire.
Oh, and one more thing? We bought a couple of containers two weeks ago when we went to The Lake (tm). The pan is now black, which is new! and improved! and wrong! wrong! wrong!
Maybe that's how the back went out.
Worse yet, The Cabin at The Lake had a microwave.