Tuesday, June 21, 2005

He's your graduation guy 

What with all the graduation speakers out there who sometimes say really stupid things, and seldom sensible, The Eclectic Econoclast is offering his services for free. Benefits include
  1. I have a cap and gown that have been described as cool or sexy (click here to see a photo).
  2. I look very professional and academic with my gray beard and glasses.
  3. I have considerable experience listening to bad commencement addresses, so I know what not to do or say.
  4. I am an award-winning professor, with considerable acting and speaking experience.
  5. I promise not to cuss.
  6. ...You have your choice of opening lines (and topics):
    • "Never apply latex paint over glossy alkyd enamel," or
    • "There are no refunds for losing lottery tickets."
Hella deal. I'd get into this myself, but I can't beat John on price.