I could not write fiction this good. The bicentennial of Lord Nelson's victory at Trafalgar comes up this June, and there's supposed to be a celebration and a recreation of the battle, kind of. Brian Ferguson reports:

According to this piece from the Sunday Times organizers of the commemoration have decided that the re-enactment they're planning isn't really a re-enactment:

Organisers of a re-enactment to mark the bicentenary of the battle next month have decided it should be between �a Red Fleet and a Blue Fleet� not British and French/Spanish forces. Otherwise they fear visiting dignitaries, particularly the French, would be embarrassed at seeing their side routed.

As for what it is they're not actually commemorating for fear of offending someone,

Even the official literature has been toned down. It describes the re-enactment not as the battle of Trafalgar but simply as �an early 19th-century sea battle�.

It should be quite a spectacle, whatever it is.

The aim is to create a spectacular �son et lumi�re� re-enactment with pyrotechnics, lights and effects from barges in the Solent. Tall ships will create the illusion of a real battle.

Illusion it will be. A spokesperson for the Royal Navy reports "This is an illustration and theatre on water. Nelson is featured, but we are not billing it as Britain versus France. This will not be a French-bashing opportunity."

Well certainly not, we couldn't have that now could we? Ferguson concludes his insightful post wondering when they'll sandblast records of French battles at l'Arc de Triomphe which name the other Europeans who were vanquished by the French. Hey, we're all Euro-homies now, right?

H/T: The Eclectic Econoclast.