Monday, February 07, 2005

Students, please note: 

If you can't make it to class and you're considerate enough to inform your instructor beforehand, think hard before you tell your instructor why you can't make it to class. You see, a simple and straightforward notification, unadorned by dramatic detail, fires your instructor's imagination. He pictures you shivering beside a coal-stove in a freezing office ruled by a petty tyrant, a veritable Vortigern of accounts receivable. He pictures you kneeling by the bedside of a dying parent as the doctor puts his hand on your shoulder and sobs at the futility of it all. He pictures you standing amid the smoldering rubble that was your home, your face caked with soot as the camera pans back to reveal death and devastation for miles in every direction.

He does not picture you attending the symphony.

Your reasons for missing class are your own. However, if you do feel compelled to tell your instructor a story, then you should lie. Lying will show far more respect for your instructor than telling the truth ever will. You will also save yourself the embarrassment of being judged, however silently. Like you, your instructor is, after all, only human.

Jeff should simply stop taking attendance.