Douglas Kern has a great qualifying exam for colleges and universities that want to educate your children. Parents of seniors, try putting a few of these to your admissions counselor:

• Your catalog repeatedly indicates that your college is devoted to creating an ethnically, racially, and socially inclusive campus. Describe what prevents your students from spending every moment of their collegiate lives with people who look, think, and act just like they do.
• Your catalog also indicates your commitment to intellectual diversity. Please state the percentage of your faculty that votes Republican. Please attach the names of outspoken conservatives on your faculty. Use additional sheets if necessary.
• If your school has an honor code, present empirical evidence to demonstrate that your honor code leads to fewer acts of dishonesty at your campus than at similarly-situated universities that lack such a code.

Kern offers twelve other questions. Hat tip: Cold Spring Shops, who answers three questions and asks a different question:

"To what extent does your staffing policy give the impression that there are two classes of faculty, those that only teach and those that have to produce research? Doesn't the existence of a large staff of often contingent teachers belie the Every Teacher A Scholar ideal your publicity promulgates?"