According to Discriminations , another cookie sale is planned at William and Mary, after the first one ended up causing a furor with its president's snide reply which turns out to be unoriginal. Perhaps I should join in the unoriginality!

President Sullivan: Right. Cookies. How to defend yourself against a College Republican armed with a cookie. Now you, come at me with this cookie. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a cookie. First of all you force him to drop the cookie; then, second, you eat the cookie, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.

Palin: Suppose he's got a plateful?

President: Shut up.

Idle: Suppose he's got a pointed stick?

President: Shut up. Right now you, Mr Apricot.

Chapman: 'Arrison.

President: Sorry, Mr. 'Arrison. Come at me with that cookie. Hold it like that, that's it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.)

Chapman: Aaagh! (dies.)

President: Now, I eat the cookie. (Does so.)

Palin: You shot him!

Jones: He's dead!

Idle: He's completely dead!

President: I have now eaten the cookie. The deceased, Mr Apricot, is now 'elpless.

Palin: You shot him. You shot him dead.

President: Well, he was attacking me with a cookie.

Jones: But you told him to.