Friday, September 19, 2003

Blessed insomnia 

Had a great time at the Twins game last night, and when I got home I thought I would check email. (I tell my students that if they write me before 11pm, they'll get an answer by morning.) I find the University Chronicle in my mailbox, and within it is this bit of anti-gun screediness by a young student. Amused, I sent it to Mitch, the Northern Alliance gunsmith at Shot in the Dark. Lucky for us all, Mitch had insomnia and scored a double off this meatball pitch by early morning. Rounding first base:
With this next bit, I can imagine the ghost of Skip Humphrey, smiling down from heaven, knowing that a liberal angel had gotten its wings with this bit:

I thought it was a well-known fact that one shouldn't carry a loaded, concealed weapon with them in public places, especially places like bars and taverns. I can somehow picture the horrible combination of drunk rednecks and firearms producing not-so-pretty results.

Memo to Matt Entenza: Well, you have to feel all warm and fuzzy in his [political] grave right now, knowing that his carefully-spun propaganda had the desired effect with at least one young woman.

Question: If someone with a degree in Literature who can play the Brandenburg Concertos on the cello from memory and can get around in four languages gets a concealed carry permit, is that person automatically a "redneck"? Are they drawn to alchohol, bars, and brawls through some unknown force?

And how many of the drunk rednecks that plague, er, the Crossroads Mall does Amanda Deegen [the editorial writer --kb] figure have gotten carry permits?

Question: What is Amanda Deegen's major?

I'll bet one with a high departmental GPA. And now Mitch goes into second standing up:
I'd like to talk about your catch-phrases for carrying a pistol.

Here are some that need to go:

  • Packing Heat - this is a piece of argot that hasn't been used outside of a gangster movie in over forty years. Why not say "packing a Roscoe" and really sound cool?
  • Locked and Loaded - I know - it's got that cool, GI Joe tang to it. But all it means is that you have a round in the chamber and the safety catch is on; it's like referring to driving a car as "gassed and in gear".
Well, what do you expect from people who take the word diversity and, rather than have it mean "noticeable heterogeneity", turn it instead into a rallying cry against those who teach the classics?