Entertaining myself by reading some Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
and think other faculty could use these for their classrooms. Let's lay a few of these on slides for our students this term (oh I know, we're not supposed to use PowerPoint
any more, but I already paid for the slides.)
- I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back. (but what's the MPC then?)
- Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
- If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.
- I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory.
- Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?
- It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. (Very useful before discussing labor markets.)
- If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something. (I've no idea where to use this, but I'm working on it.)
- Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind. (That one's for Jack.)
- We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
- If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.