Gather round, children, and listen to the story of Lileks' loo.

You buy a plumber's snake, because you're pretty sure you don't have one already. (Note: you do.) You put the snake down the pipes and turn the handle, thinking I bet the Roto-Rooter guys have motorized ones. With cool flame decals on the side. Not only does this fail to clear the obstruction, but to your horror the snake is now stuck in the pipes. You will have to sell the house and move. The Roto-Rooter man will die laughing when he shows up - not because it's so amusing, but because every other job today had the same thing! People actually think those snakes work? Go online! Do a Google! Do you find "mysnakeworked.com" or "thankheavensforplumbersnakes.com"? No? There might be a reason!

To the lady at Barnes and Noble yesterday why I was laughing so hard I was spilling my latte?

Three snakes. Yes, three.

I so suck at home repair.